Summary

Why are we allowing this to continue??  — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

Summary

When you choose your own victories — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

Summary

If you’re a victim of abuse, this is the time to take your power back.  — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

Summary

How making simple plans can help in your healing.  — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.”

-James Baldwin

Summary

Taking back your power, but being mindful of the relationship. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

Summary

What dreams are made of… — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ht-webster/message

Transcription

Waking up today I found myself not wanting to function in society. I'm certain we all have those days, functional survivors or not. However, I struggled just to bring myself to shower. I wasn't struggling physically today with any more chronic pain than usual, but mentally and emotionally I was embattled. Some days I still don't wish to participate in life. Even with all of the beauty and blessings I have around me there this is still that part of me, that gaping open wound that only my minds eye can see that attempts to be dominant, and call the shots, just one LAST time. 

This is the part of our being that is active mostly at night, when our defenses are down and sleep is in charge. Or in the moments of self medication when we've numbed our inhibitions along with our reasoning into silence. It's the darkness of life, trauma, fantasy, memories, suppressed or otherwise, that want to scream I am most important! " I, the wounded one, is most important and must be allowed the final say! "  

This is where anything from a licensed therapist on speed dial, to the smell of a cup of coffee brewing can save our lives. Some reading this may think I'm quite dramatic and honestly I agree, I do lean towards flare now and again, but this is simply a sad truth. 

All of us I suppose have been there at some point in our lives. Perhaps it was one single moment that left as quickly as it came, but a moment of despair all the same. Or perhaps it was years at a stretch, silently fighting the urge to end it all while waiting to use the copier on a Monday or waiting for your spouse to return home with gas for the lawn mower on a Saturday.  

However this might effect you please know that you are not alone. I also want you to know how brave it is to stay alive. To keep fighting, to keep smiling, to keep showing up every fucking day. To keep doing the fucking work. (I hated it when Dr. K would say that to me. it enraged me. fuck off! I'd thought. ) But I suppose I was pissed because I knew he was right. I couldn't change the fact that Dave Curtis positioned me in life to need to do such fucking hard work, but I could change the fact that I could choose to do it just the same. 
It fucking suck at times. I won't lie about that. But us victims, aka functional survivors, aren't anything if we aren't brave now are we? 

So if you woke up like I did today, tell the day to fuck off. Once you've gotten some coffee or talked with your Dr.K you'll be unstoppable once again. I promise.

Be well, Talk Soon

H.T. Webster